Sean Bean To Return to Game of Thrones in Surprise Role

Breaking news: Sean Bean is slated to return to HBO's hit dwarf porn drama Game of Thrones. The death of Bean's character Ned "Rhymes With Where is my Head" Stark led to a mass exodus of outraged viewers who have never seen a Sean Bean movie ever. In an effort to regain viewers, producers have decided to bring back Bean in a key role. He will now be playing the recast role of Cersei Lannister.



HBO have released this exclusive image of Bean looking foxy as Cersei. Games producer David Benioff was quoted as saying that Bean could play anyone and was also being considered as a recast for Tyrion Lannister. "If Eddie Murphy can play multiple characters in a single movie, then we don't see why Sean Bean can't act opposite himself." The actress who previously played Cersei, Lena Headey, was asked to comment and responded by showing her middle finger in a rude gesture and telling the producers to go fuck themselves.

Series author could not be reached for comment as he was busy at the time having a harem of busty slavegirls bathe him in money and pizza. Reports of fan suicides are pouring in. One fan's blood- and gravy-scrawled suicide note read: "I don't care that he's playing a woman, but this really screws up continuity. Worst adaptation ever!" A small group of fans calling themselves the Bean Queens have expressed support for the decision, saying: "Sean looks so sexy in that dress. I'm hot for Cersei now."

Bookies have already started taking bets as to how Bean's latest character will die, with "choking on a lemoncake" the odds-on favourite.

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