The DA Is Down With the Swirl, Nudism

You've got to hand it to the DA: how many people were even aware of the Democratic Alliance Students' Organisation's existence before this ad featuring a mixed-race couple straight out of central casting and the tagline "In our future, you wouldn't look twice". Presumably this future includes the legalisation and acceptance of public nudity because I'm pretty sure more than a few people would look twice at a naked, embracing couple, regardless of race.

Louis Vuitton Condoms

Are you disgustingly rich and want to flaunt it at every opportunity? Do you like ostentatious displays of wealth but feel that using flaming banknotes to light your Cuban cigars is too gauche? Have you found yourself in a Brewster's Millions situation where you need to spend $30 million in a month without having any assets to show for it? Then Louis Vuitton condoms are for you.



Georgian architect Irakli Kiziria "designed" (ie slapped on the familiar LV logo) the condom, which is intended to benefit AIDS research. The condoms will cost $68 each. Louis Vuitton fans are reportedly eagerly looking forward to the chance to brand their dicks.

While most people who buy these rubber odes to gross consumerism will throw them away after using them, Howard Hughes types can look forward to adding the stylish used condoms to their collection of human waste products in jars. Stalkers of billionaires are also set to benefit, because now when they attempt to impregnate themselves with condoms found in the trash, they can do so with style.

Not to be outdone, Gucci have announced they will be releasing their own branded toilet paper, while Prada are planning on a line of home enema kits. Meanwhile, flea market counterfeiters will be adding the condom range to their inventories of poorly-made Louis Vuitton knockoffs.

House: Busted

Looks like the Mythbusters team might need to hire a new safety team. While filming an upcoming episode, one of their stunts went wrong when they fired a huge homemade cannon at a bunch of water containers, only to watch the cannonball smash through protective cinder blocks and careen into a nearby neighbourhood. The perilous projectile bounced off a hill, smashed clean through a sleeping family's house, took out the roof of another house and finally landed in a van. You can hear the sound of scriptwriters furiously writing this into their slapstick comedy treatments.

For a show with so many big fuckoff explosions, it's surprising that this sort of thing doesn't happen so often. Adam and Jamie's next myth-busting task will be to find out if Americans really are as litigation-happy as they seem. But I wouldn't worry about them. You just know they're rolling in cash. You don't get to blow up that many trucks without having a lot of green in the bank.

Nandos Stops Airing Last Dictator Standing Ad

Seems the Nandos' Last Dictator Standing ad has ruffled the feathers of Robert Mugabe supporters in Harare. A militant ZANU-PF youth group, no doubt led by the Zim version of our own beloved Juju, threatened to boycott the chain if the ad was not withdrawn. This despite the fact that the ad was made by and broadcast for South Africans. Just because it's against the law to make fun of His Idiocy in Zimbabwe doesn't mean the rest of us should stop.



Nandos did not tell them to go sit on an egg. Instead they've pulled the ad from broadcast due to safety concerns over the staff and customers of their Zimbabwe division. For them, it's one thing if the local Mugabe Youth deprive themselves of peri-peri chicken while throwing a tantrum; it's quite another if they threaten innocents. I will refrain from making the obvious 'chickening out' pun that literally every other article on this has decided to use.



I don't see what all the fuss is about. Imagining Mugs playing water pistols with Gaddafi.is the sweetest image I've had of him in years. He's almost cuddly. He should hire Nandos as his PR team in order to reform his image as an evil bloodthirsty kidney-stone of a human being.

Archie Comics' Big Interracial Gay Wedding

No, Archie is not the one getting gay-married. The dead horse that is his inability to choose between Betty and Veronica will be flogged until all the trees are gone and there's no more paper to publish Archie Comics anymore.

It's Archie's friend Kevin Keller who will be walking down the aisle and marrying the man of his dreams. Who knew gay marriage was even legal in Riverdale? If you don't know Kevin Keller, it's because he was introduced fairly recently as the comics' first openly gay character. Encouragingly, this hasn't resulted in widespread outrage. Instead, the character has become quite popular and Archie Comics have become relevant for the first time in years.




Strange, I always thought is anyone from Archie was ever revealed to be gay, it would be Jughead. He's always shown an open disdain for women and is actively repulsed whenever Ethel tried to put the moves on him. Perhaps that's the reason he eats so much - he's sublimating his guilt over his attraction to Archie into food.



You might be surprised that the cleancut Archie Comics are so progressive. But in between his dating hijinks, Archie's done some things that bely the comics' quaint facade. There was the time he met the ultra-violent Punisher. Then there was the time he got it on with Valerie, the coolest Pussycat. If Archie had any sense, he'd stop stringing Betty and Veronica along and make beautiful caramel-coloured babies with Val.



In addition to attending Riverdale's flashiest gay wedding, Archie's also scheduled to meet KISS soon. Just because the comic's up-to-date on GLBT issues doesn't mean its other pop culture references have caught up.



Archie Comics are available at...the CNA maybe? I would tell you but I haven't bought one since the mid-90s. Ask your 10-year-old kid or nephew.