Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Always Listen to Your Grandma
The interwebs can be overwhelming. Don't you ever wish you had some wise internet elder who could give you all the right advice? Someone like your granny? Alas, the most computer literate most blue-hairs get is if they know how to get on Facebook and post status updates on their cats.
Mark Twain Was a Bitch and I Love It
It's the 176th anniversary of Mark Twain's birth today, the Google doodle reliably informs me. Twain is of course the author of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. But more than just being an accomplished author and social commentator, he was also a catty bitch who had a clever quip and piercing put-down for every occasion. The old bastard spent his final years writing a hundreds of pages of a memoir swimming in bile.
Twain is one of the most eminently quotable authors of all time. Here are some of his best burns:
Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
-More on Austen
Cooper's art has some defects. In one place in Deerslayer, and in the restricted space of two-thirds of a page, Cooper has scored 114 offenses against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record.
-On James Fenimore Cooper
It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle - keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.
-On the Book of Mormon
And some more general quotes from the curmudgeon:
Twain is one of the most eminently quotable authors of all time. Here are some of his best burns:
Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice,' I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.
-On Jane AustenJust the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
-More on Austen
Cooper's art has some defects. In one place in Deerslayer, and in the restricted space of two-thirds of a page, Cooper has scored 114 offenses against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record.
-On James Fenimore Cooper
Once you put it down, you simply can't pick it up
-On one of Henry James' books It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle - keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.
-On the Book of Mormon
And some more general quotes from the curmudgeon:
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Louis Minnar Is a Visual Viking
I've been watching South African music videos on a constant loop for the last couple of days. One director that has consistently caught my eye (and brain and soul) is Louis Minnar. When I see his distinctive gremlin-thing logo, I know I'm in for a visual feast.
Like the best international directors such as Michel Gondry and Chris Cunningham, you know you're guaranteed a top-notch concept and imagery when you watch a Minnar video. He's worked with artists such as Van Coke Kartel, Straatligkinders and Die Heuwels Fantasties. He recently released a showreel of his 2011 music videos for bands, producers and mere mortals like me to drool over.
Like the best international directors such as Michel Gondry and Chris Cunningham, you know you're guaranteed a top-notch concept and imagery when you watch a Minnar video. He's worked with artists such as Van Coke Kartel, Straatligkinders and Die Heuwels Fantasties. He recently released a showreel of his 2011 music videos for bands, producers and mere mortals like me to drool over.
Freshlyground's Zolani Mahola Raises Awareness for COP 17
Freshlyground lead pixie Zolani Mahola has rewritten more environmentally-minded lyrics to Doo Be Doo and recorded a music video to pay tribute to the youth and the environment. It's full of cute kids singing and pretty nature scenes. It will make you smile, unless you're a hopeless, black-hearted cynic, in which case, what are you doing reading about Freshlyground in the first place?
The song supports the youth-driven 'Consider US' campaign. The campaign will compile a book of kids' words on the environment and bury it in a time capsule in Durban during the Freshlyground concert on 8 December. The capsule is scheduled to be unearthed 30 years in the future, by which time humans will hopefully not have gone extinct from a global ecological disaster.
The song supports the youth-driven 'Consider US' campaign. The campaign will compile a book of kids' words on the environment and bury it in a time capsule in Durban during the Freshlyground concert on 8 December. The capsule is scheduled to be unearthed 30 years in the future, by which time humans will hopefully not have gone extinct from a global ecological disaster.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Zoo City To Become Film
Super-talented author/scriptwriter/journalist Lauren Beukes is having a very good year. First she joined the ranks of SFF hard-hitters such as Margaret Atwood and China Mieville as the recipient of an Arthur C Clarke award for her urban fantasy Zoo City, and now she's bagged a movie deal. Helen Spring, one of the people behind Oscar-nominated Yesterday, has optioned the rights to the critical and commercial hit novel.
Can Zoo City become the next District 9? It's early days yet but the book's international success bodes well for its silver screen chances. Like District 9, it's got a truly original premise and a vibrant setting that's sure to capture the imagination of moviegoers sick of the same old, same old sci-fi. Perhaps Beukes' first novel, Moxyland, will be next if the Zoo City film becomes a success.
If you're drooling over the cover, it's by Cape Town illustrator Joey Hi-Fi, whose stuff you should go check out right now here. There is also a Zoo City exhibit on right now at the Old Fort Museum in Joburg, which runs until 8 December.
Wouldn't Zoo City make a great Christmas present for the sci-fi fan in your life? Or the SA fiction enthusiast who's just a little sick of memoirs and political novels? Or yourself? Yes, yes it would. If they or you have already read it, there's always the soundtrack.
Can Zoo City become the next District 9? It's early days yet but the book's international success bodes well for its silver screen chances. Like District 9, it's got a truly original premise and a vibrant setting that's sure to capture the imagination of moviegoers sick of the same old, same old sci-fi. Perhaps Beukes' first novel, Moxyland, will be next if the Zoo City film becomes a success.
If you're drooling over the cover, it's by Cape Town illustrator Joey Hi-Fi, whose stuff you should go check out right now here. There is also a Zoo City exhibit on right now at the Old Fort Museum in Joburg, which runs until 8 December.
Wouldn't Zoo City make a great Christmas present for the sci-fi fan in your life? Or the SA fiction enthusiast who's just a little sick of memoirs and political novels? Or yourself? Yes, yes it would. If they or you have already read it, there's always the soundtrack.
Archie Comics' Big Interracial Gay Wedding
No, Archie is not the one getting gay-married. The dead horse that is his inability to choose between Betty and Veronica will be flogged until all the trees are gone and there's no more paper to publish Archie Comics anymore.
It's Archie's friend Kevin Keller who will be walking down the aisle and marrying the man of his dreams. Who knew gay marriage was even legal in Riverdale? If you don't know Kevin Keller, it's because he was introduced fairly recently as the comics' first openly gay character. Encouragingly, this hasn't resulted in widespread outrage. Instead, the character has become quite popular and Archie Comics have become relevant for the first time in years.
Strange, I always thought is anyone from Archie was ever revealed to be gay, it would be Jughead. He's always shown an open disdain for women and is actively repulsed whenever Ethel tried to put the moves on him. Perhaps that's the reason he eats so much - he's sublimating his guilt over his attraction to Archie into food.
You might be surprised that the cleancut Archie Comics are so progressive. But in between his dating hijinks, Archie's done some things that bely the comics' quaint facade. There was the time he met the ultra-violent Punisher. Then there was the time he got it on with Valerie, the coolest Pussycat. If Archie had any sense, he'd stop stringing Betty and Veronica along and make beautiful caramel-coloured babies with Val.
In addition to attending Riverdale's flashiest gay wedding, Archie's also scheduled to meet KISS soon. Just because the comic's up-to-date on GLBT issues doesn't mean its other pop culture references have caught up.
Archie Comics are available at...the CNA maybe? I would tell you but I haven't bought one since the mid-90s. Ask your 10-year-old kid or nephew.
It's Archie's friend Kevin Keller who will be walking down the aisle and marrying the man of his dreams. Who knew gay marriage was even legal in Riverdale? If you don't know Kevin Keller, it's because he was introduced fairly recently as the comics' first openly gay character. Encouragingly, this hasn't resulted in widespread outrage. Instead, the character has become quite popular and Archie Comics have become relevant for the first time in years.
Strange, I always thought is anyone from Archie was ever revealed to be gay, it would be Jughead. He's always shown an open disdain for women and is actively repulsed whenever Ethel tried to put the moves on him. Perhaps that's the reason he eats so much - he's sublimating his guilt over his attraction to Archie into food.
You might be surprised that the cleancut Archie Comics are so progressive. But in between his dating hijinks, Archie's done some things that bely the comics' quaint facade. There was the time he met the ultra-violent Punisher. Then there was the time he got it on with Valerie, the coolest Pussycat. If Archie had any sense, he'd stop stringing Betty and Veronica along and make beautiful caramel-coloured babies with Val.
In addition to attending Riverdale's flashiest gay wedding, Archie's also scheduled to meet KISS soon. Just because the comic's up-to-date on GLBT issues doesn't mean its other pop culture references have caught up.
Archie Comics are available at...the CNA maybe? I would tell you but I haven't bought one since the mid-90s. Ask your 10-year-old kid or nephew.
Fleet Foxes - The Shrine / An Argument Video
Fleet Foxes have released an absolute stunner of a video for their song The Shrine / An Argument. The 8-minute-long video uses an animated paper model technique. If you like this video, be sure to check out the band's first foray into stop-motion melancholia in White Winter Hymnal.
The Shrine / An Argument is available on the album Helplessness Blues.
The Shrine / An Argument is available on the album Helplessness Blues.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Mondays are for Drinking to the Seldom-Seen Kid
You don't have to drink to me if you don't want to. But how about checking out Elbow's acoustic take on Grounds for Divorce? It's even bluesier than the album version - there's a harmonica involved.
Grounds for Divorce is from Elbow's (amazing, perfect, flawless) album Seldom Seen Kid.
Grounds for Divorce is from Elbow's (amazing, perfect, flawless) album Seldom Seen Kid.
COP 17: Why You Should Care
COP 17 has arrived at least. It's time to worry ourselves into an ulcer hoping that just once the politicians of the world will pull their heads out of their arses long enough to come to an effective binding agreement on climate change. More likely, they will make grand pronouncements about what steps need to be taken to lessen carbon emissions and end up not following a single one of them. The buck always stops somewhere else. Gotta love politics.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you know what the deal is with climate change. And if you have been living under a rock, well done, your carbon footprint must be very small. Dire warnings of ecological disaster abound and it's easy to dismiss them as apocalyptic fear-mongering. The world didn't go boom when Y2K happened or any of the days of Rapture predicted by crazy-preacher-of-the-moment. We don't know if the Mayans have it right yet but I'm willing to bet ludicrous amounts of money that we'll still be here come 2012. It's not like I'll have to pay up if I'm wrong.
Why believe the end-is-nigh people when it comes to global warming? Well, because climate change is screwing up the earth something fierce right now as we speak.
In 2006, an inhabited island disappeared underwater because of rising sea levels. Cool for Atlantis enthusiasts but not so cool for the people living there. Low-lying islands such as those in the Pacific are in danger of submersion. It's not just about the polar bears, there are actual people's lives and livelihoods involved. The increased incidence of natural disasters such as floods and droughts are resulting in higher levels of forced migration - more refugees and displaced families in other words. Even here at home we've seen water shortages on the Garden Route because of changing weather patterns.
This is serious shit. It's not just about polar bears; it's about human beings.
Don't believe Roland Emmerich (which is good advice to follow in general, not just when it comes to his disaster movies).The world won't end with a bang nor a whimper. We'll just have to deal with a lot more war, more political unrest, fewer resources, higher prices, more economic turmoil and all those other fun things that make living in the 21st century so much fun. Even if you're comfortably living in middle class suburban bliss and not on some island or flood plain, you will not escape the effects of global warming.
The time to act isn't now. The time to act was years ago. We desperately need to make up for lost time.
I'm not Al Gore! What the hell can I do?
Read up on green tips and do the ones that are possible for you. Recycle. Take a bath Carpool or take public transport if you can. Reduce your water usage. Brew your own beer. Poo in a bucket and use it for compost if you're that extreme about it.
I actually am Al Gore! What can I do?
Bitch, switch off your lights! Take your own advice and reduce the carbon footprint on those multiple mansions of yours. That doccie does not give you a free pass.
I am a corporate type swimming in money. What can I do?
Start with solar panels. Work on reducing energy consumption. Sponsor environmental initiatives.
I am a politician. What can I do?
My condolences. Talk is cheap. Enact laws that actually have a tangible positive effect, not just empty gestures.
I am a global warming denier. What can I do?
Punch yourself in the face until you get better. Stop reading conspiracy theory websites and demonising scientists.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you know what the deal is with climate change. And if you have been living under a rock, well done, your carbon footprint must be very small. Dire warnings of ecological disaster abound and it's easy to dismiss them as apocalyptic fear-mongering. The world didn't go boom when Y2K happened or any of the days of Rapture predicted by crazy-preacher-of-the-moment. We don't know if the Mayans have it right yet but I'm willing to bet ludicrous amounts of money that we'll still be here come 2012. It's not like I'll have to pay up if I'm wrong.
Why believe the end-is-nigh people when it comes to global warming? Well, because climate change is screwing up the earth something fierce right now as we speak.
In 2006, an inhabited island disappeared underwater because of rising sea levels. Cool for Atlantis enthusiasts but not so cool for the people living there. Low-lying islands such as those in the Pacific are in danger of submersion. It's not just about the polar bears, there are actual people's lives and livelihoods involved. The increased incidence of natural disasters such as floods and droughts are resulting in higher levels of forced migration - more refugees and displaced families in other words. Even here at home we've seen water shortages on the Garden Route because of changing weather patterns.
This is serious shit. It's not just about polar bears; it's about human beings.
Don't believe Roland Emmerich (which is good advice to follow in general, not just when it comes to his disaster movies).The world won't end with a bang nor a whimper. We'll just have to deal with a lot more war, more political unrest, fewer resources, higher prices, more economic turmoil and all those other fun things that make living in the 21st century so much fun. Even if you're comfortably living in middle class suburban bliss and not on some island or flood plain, you will not escape the effects of global warming.
The time to act isn't now. The time to act was years ago. We desperately need to make up for lost time.
I'm not Al Gore! What the hell can I do?
Read up on green tips and do the ones that are possible for you. Recycle. Take a bath Carpool or take public transport if you can. Reduce your water usage. Brew your own beer. Poo in a bucket and use it for compost if you're that extreme about it.
I actually am Al Gore! What can I do?
Bitch, switch off your lights! Take your own advice and reduce the carbon footprint on those multiple mansions of yours. That doccie does not give you a free pass.
I am a corporate type swimming in money. What can I do?
Start with solar panels. Work on reducing energy consumption. Sponsor environmental initiatives.
I am a politician. What can I do?
My condolences. Talk is cheap. Enact laws that actually have a tangible positive effect, not just empty gestures.
I am a global warming denier. What can I do?
Punch yourself in the face until you get better. Stop reading conspiracy theory websites and demonising scientists.
What's On at the Bioskoop
Wondering what to watch on your movie date this week? Sure it's only Monday but deciding what movie to watch is a critical decision that could affect as much as 90 to 180 minutes of your life. Happily, I have spent countless hours watching trailers, reading reviews, observing nit-picky IMDB discussions in order to bring you a comprehensive guide of as many as three lines per movie on what's opening this Friday.
Real Steel
Hugh Jackman stars as a washed-up boxer who tries to regain his glory in the ring as a trainer of eight-foot fighting robots. In a desperate effort to court the coveted teen boy demographic, Hollywood has decided to start employing them as scriptwriters and producers
Puss in Boots
Antonio Banderas is receiving plenty of award buzz for his role in this twisted tale of obsession by acclaimed director Pedro Almodovar. This brilliant fairy-tale re-imagining follows the deranged Dr Puss, who has kidnapped the fair Princess Fiona in order to use her as his plastic surgery guinea pig. A body-horror romp for the whole family.
Another Earth
Just your average 'girl meets boy when she kills his entire family in a car accident caused by getting distracted by the announcement of a duplicate earth being discovered in our solar system' flick. Opening at your local Cinema Noveau that has not yet been converted into a Classic with six screens dedicated to Twilight.
My Official Recommendation
Get out your rock 'em-sock 'em robots and spend your Friday filming your own version of Real Steel. Send it to Walt Disney pictures and they'll use it for the sequel.
Real Steel
Hugh Jackman stars as a washed-up boxer who tries to regain his glory in the ring as a trainer of eight-foot fighting robots. In a desperate effort to court the coveted teen boy demographic, Hollywood has decided to start employing them as scriptwriters and producers
Puss in Boots
Antonio Banderas is receiving plenty of award buzz for his role in this twisted tale of obsession by acclaimed director Pedro Almodovar. This brilliant fairy-tale re-imagining follows the deranged Dr Puss, who has kidnapped the fair Princess Fiona in order to use her as his plastic surgery guinea pig. A body-horror romp for the whole family.
Another Earth
Just your average 'girl meets boy when she kills his entire family in a car accident caused by getting distracted by the announcement of a duplicate earth being discovered in our solar system' flick. Opening at your local Cinema Noveau that has not yet been converted into a Classic with six screens dedicated to Twilight.
My Official Recommendation
Get out your rock 'em-sock 'em robots and spend your Friday filming your own version of Real Steel. Send it to Walt Disney pictures and they'll use it for the sequel.
Jax Panik Makes a Gag Video
Jax Panik's latest video has me seriously wondering if he's a hardcore vegetarian propagandist. The video for Touch Me Now follows an errant Vienna sausage in its efforts to...well, you'll quickly get the picture. As if wondering what goes into hot dogs isn't enough, now you have to worry about what your hot dog's been up to when you're not looking.
I feel like a knob giving a 'not for sensitive viewers' warning about a silly video of a stop motion sausage but trust me, it's warranted. Well done on making me nearly retch, Panik. The cheque from PETA is in the mail.
I feel like a knob giving a 'not for sensitive viewers' warning about a silly video of a stop motion sausage but trust me, it's warranted. Well done on making me nearly retch, Panik. The cheque from PETA is in the mail.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Welcome to the Thunderdome
Once I had a blog. But I neglected it and it ran away.
So I got a new one.
I aim to feed it regular posts about whatever's on my mind. Because, like a lucky packet, I think interesting, unusual things can sometimes be found there.
Do lucky packets even exist anymore? I need to investigate this.
So I got a new one.
I aim to feed it regular posts about whatever's on my mind. Because, like a lucky packet, I think interesting, unusual things can sometimes be found there.
Do lucky packets even exist anymore? I need to investigate this.
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| A lolcat macro welcomes you all like it's 2005 |
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