What's On at the Bioskoop

Wondering what to watch on your movie date this week? Sure it's only Monday but deciding what movie to watch is a critical decision that could affect as much as 90 to 180 minutes of your life. Happily, I have spent countless hours watching trailers, reading reviews, observing nit-picky IMDB discussions in order to bring you a comprehensive guide of as many as three lines per movie on what's opening this Friday.

Real Steel



Hugh Jackman stars as a washed-up boxer who tries to regain his glory in the ring as a trainer of eight-foot fighting robots. In a desperate effort to court the coveted teen boy demographic, Hollywood has decided to start employing them as scriptwriters and producers

Puss in Boots



Antonio Banderas is receiving plenty of award buzz for his role in this twisted tale of obsession by acclaimed director Pedro Almodovar. This brilliant fairy-tale re-imagining follows the deranged Dr Puss, who has kidnapped the fair Princess Fiona in order to use her as his plastic surgery guinea pig. A body-horror romp for the whole family.

Another Earth



Just your average 'girl meets boy when she kills his entire family in a car accident caused by getting distracted by the announcement of a duplicate earth being discovered in our solar system' flick. Opening at your local Cinema Noveau that has not yet been converted into a Classic with six screens dedicated to Twilight.

My Official Recommendation


Get out your rock 'em-sock 'em robots and spend your Friday filming your own version of Real Steel. Send it to Walt Disney pictures and they'll use it for the sequel.